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Issue #15, Oct. 22rd, 06 |
Coming to the End of the Spiritual SearchA great spiritual teacher by the name of Richard
Rose once wrote, “You have to fight like hell to find out there's
nothing to fight like hell for.” This more than anything describes the
spiritual search. U.G. Krishnamurti goes even further when he claims
that there is nothing we can do to attain our natural state. In fact,
anything we do moves us further away! So what is a seeker to do? To
paraphrase P.T. Barnum, "there is a seeker born every minute.” Actually
it turns out that Barnum never said anything close to that. But that’s
another subject. So what are we to do? We have this burning inside
of us. It is a burning for the truth. It is a passion to discover who we
really are. It is the yearning that, like the prodigal son, we may
return to our father's arms. But ultimately we are confronted with one
truth which we cannot escape. We must live our lives. There is no
getting around it. Many of us get a glimpse of that state of our
ultimate inheritance – that natural state. So we want enlightenment or
self-realization, because we know that if that gift is given in our
lives that we will forever look at the world around us with new eyes. So
off we go on the spiritual journey. We read, we meditate, we study and
discuss. Some of us drift off into new age practices, some of us become
devoted to our church. What are we to do? There are many awakened teachers that tell us there
is nothing we can do. Self-realization is a lot like winning the
lottery. Others will tell you it is all predestined. You either will or
you won’t. It doesn’t depend on you. So we are left with this longing,
knowing there is nowhere to go and nothing to do. Are we just supposed
to wait? One thing is for sure, after a while, if you become
more aware of your ego-mind and how it works you realize one penetrating
truth. Volition, effort, and working toward something comes from the
ego. It is self serving ultimately. And it is the opposite of surrender.
This is what Rose meant when he said fighting to realize you don’t need
to fight. It take a tremendous amount of spiritual growth to realize
that much of spiritual practice is nothing more than a trick of the ego
that we are getting someplace or accomplishing something. So what is one to do? We have this heavy burden on
our heart. The fire of our passion simply won’t be denied. What will we
do? It is simple. We must honor it. We must move in the direction of our
hearts while being vigilant about our motives and the agenda of our own
need to advance at the expense of others. We have to fight like hell
while at the same time learning to surrender to “what is” on a moment by
moment basis. We learn acceptance as the most powerful force for change
in our lives, but we still can’t give up hope. We cannot realize truth by beating ourselves up for
trying to move toward truth. Or as I heard Eckhart Tolle say, we can’t
sit in front the TV with a six pack of beer waiting for enlightenment.
On the other hand we must take right action. Right action comes from our
passion and yearning for truth. It comes from openness and surrender. It
shines the light of awareness on any impure motive or need for
self-promotion. The spiritual path is rife with several paradoxes. We must simply tolerate this and wait without waiting. Awakening requires no effort whatsoever, but it takes a lot of growth and heartfelt sweat to realize that. So coming to the end of the spiritual search does not mean doing nothing and living with a sense of dissatisfaction or of lack of fulfillment. Until our emptiness is full, it is proper, in fact essential, to pack our bags and set out on the journey home.
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Choice?
In consciousness or in our experience there appears to be choice. We
appear to be the decider the "doer." At a higher level or from
the level of the True Self, life is simply unfolding, expressing the
Divine Essence. We live within this paradox. Did we decide to have a
cheeseburger for lunch or did a cheeseburger simply appear in
consciousness? The problem is really a matter of
identification which presents another dilemma. If we identify
ourselves as the "doer," we end up having a big stake in the outcome
of the doing. This leads to the insanity of an ego that wants to
ultimately survive death - that wants to be God's god. So to avoid
that pitfall, we must let go of ownership and identification. We
have to just do the best we can with pure motives in any given
instant. We really have no alternative. We must be in the world, but
not of the world.
For back issues of this newsletter go to my website at www.markwaller.com
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| November Awakening Group meets on Sunday Nov. 12th at 1 pm. in Yorba Linda |
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Link to my website www.markwaller.com.
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