A newsletter about the Lion/Unicorn theory of relationships developed by Mark Waller

Issue #4, Nov. 12th

The Voice in Your Head

Recently, I had a wonderful conversation with one of my clients about my next book. The working title is "The Lion and Unicorn Awaken: Relationships as Spiritual Practice." I was telling her that the book will contain several revolutionary new ideas that have never be discussed before, just as there were in the Dance book. The one big idea I was sharing with her is that the internal dialogue that goes on in our heads on an almost continuous basis is generated and motivated by the Limbic System. What is significant about this is that if this is true, that voice has basically got the maturity of a 5 year old. When we identify with the voice and don't see it as an object in mind, we are constantly being prodded by a five-year-old. This is the source of all of the suffering of humanity.

The next morning I got up and went to the internet. I had never considered that anyone else had thought to question this internal voice, but what if they had. Maybe I could find an article or something about it. It turns out that there is an academic journal out of Calgary, Alberta, Canada called Theory and Psychology. Their April issue was a special issue devoted to the topic of "The Dialogical Self."  One article that caught my eye was "The Dialogical Brain." Ah-ha, I thought, an article that actually talks about the internal dialogue from the perspective of brain function itself!

Here are a few of the important points made in the article:

• The internal voice that we think is "us" is rooted in "emotion and anticipation."

• The brain and its "voice" generate actions and perceptions that fit an anticipated future.

• When we get reactive our focus narrows and anchors to particular aspects of the world.

• Internal dialog is located in the network of brain circuits between the Limbic System and the Front of the brain.

• The emotional Limbic System directs our attention. The Prefrontal cortex is what attends i.e. the "voice" and the "watcher" of the voice.

• The internal voice is self-sustaining through anticipation of an imagined other's response.

• All of this results in a brain that is concerned with what is about to happen, not what is happening now.

• The emotional/attentional state that produces the "voice" hijacks the entire brain!

The implication of all of this is huge. This voice occupies a familiar "I" position in our heads, but it is not us. And yet we are being told what to look at in the world, what it means, and being prepared for an anticipated action. The dye is cast. Our lower nature, primitive brain, inner child - call it what you will, is absolutely in charge of the "voice." If it is not exactly, in neurological terms, the voice itself, the Limbic System sets the agenda of what the voice is going to talk about. We listen, feeling it is "us" and narrow our focus, distort our perception, and wait to pounce: on our partner.

This is not a pretty picture. What it means is that we must totally disidentify with the internal dialogue. We must watch/listen to it, knowing it is not our identity, and experience a complete detachment from the "voice." This is Witness Thought Therapy_©. Without this detachment from the internal dialog we will never be free - we will never experience now!

To read the article mentioned above, follow the link. A word of caution, this is an academic journal and not written in a casual reading style.

http://www.psych.ucalgary.ca/thpsyc/VOLUMES.SI/2002/12.2%20Lewis.html

Mark Waller Ph.D. LMFT

Please Join me Friday and Saturday

Friday the 18th and Saturday the 19th I will be doing my Lion/Unicorn workshops at the Learning Light Foundation. Friday evening from 7 to 9 pm will be "The Secret of Conscious Relationships." This is the guts of the Dance of the Lion and the Unicorn. What makes it so much fun is that I use a variety of actual examples from TV. These are very funny and entertaining, but at the same time revealing.

Saturday from 1 to 4 pm with be "Relationships as Spiritual Practice." I will be introducing the group to Witness Thought Therapy_© at that time. It should be an exciting event.

Please join us for one or both of these dynamic workshops. For more information, pricing and sign-up go to:

http://www.learninglight.org/

For back issues of this newsletter go to my website at www.markwaller.com

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