A newsletter about the Lion/Unicorn theory of relationships developed by Mark Waller

Issue #7, Feb 16th

Lion/Unicorn

Introvert/Extravert

The Lion/Unicorn pattern and couple match up is pretty easy to spot. I've gotten so used to it that I can spot who's who within a few minutes of meeting a couple. There is one twist to the pattern that trips even me up from time to time. That is when an introverted Lion is with an extraverted Unicorn.

Let's look at introverts and extraverts for a moment. The question is how to you tell one from another. I use a simple test. If your communication is spontaneous, then you are an extravert. If you tend to rehearse what you say in advance, you are an introvert. If we speculate on what might motivate this difference, we can see that around communication at least we have a bit of a role reversal. Rehearsing communication would have to involve some anxiety, while being spontaneous looks a lot like the need for an emotional connection. Another question I often ask has to do with energy. Introverts expend energy being around others. Extroverts accumulate energy by being social. So the question becomes, do you need time to recharge after being with people or do you become charged by interacting with other? Obviously, extroverts get charged by social interaction and introverts would experience a depletion of energy in the same situation. Granted that these are broad generalizations, however, they usually point me to the truth.

In the therapy room, this can get a little strange and disorienting for me. Imagine a Unicorn doing most of the talking while the Lion sits there quietly. The Lion is afraid to speak up for fear of saying the wrong thing, but the generally feels like they are not good enough and need a closer connection to their partner. Meanwhile, their Unicorn partner is spontaneously talking away, all the while fearing that their relationships could get out of control. This seems complex but it is simply another version of  unconsciousness.

Of course, the answer to this is to awaken from the trance and the Lion/Unicorn dance. I have developed a new therapy based on the traditions of enlightenment. It involves merely watching your thoughts. I call it Witness Thought Therapy_©, and after a week or two of diligently looking at the thoughts that appear in the mind seeing the patterns of the Lion and the Unicorn emerge from thought is relatively simple and painless.

The world of Lions and Unicorns is a world created and maintained by the conditioned mind. It locks us into the remembered past and the imagined future. This world is not real. Watching thoughts brings us into the timeless present. It is an experience of peace and comfort that many have never known.

Mark Waller Ph.D. LMFT

Right Action emerges from Truth. Reaction emerges from the Conditioned Mind.

Please give something back! I say this because the awakening that comes from being free of the conditioned mind is so liberating, it must be shared. I believe that if this awakening has been given to you, you have an obligation to share it with others -to support their awakening.

I see too many who awaken and go back to their lives. There is a grave danger in this. The ego-mind will make sophisticated attempts to regain the lost ground. If we are not vigilant, the ego becomes spiritualized. If that happens you are surely lost.

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The Messenger: A Guide to Life's Adventures

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