A newsletter about the Lion/Unicorn theory of relationships developed by Mark Waller

Issue #9, April 23rd

Back into the Madness

Ralph was one of my best clients. I mean that in the sense that he took to Witness Thought Therapy™ like a duck to water. In his forties, he came in because his anger was out of control and he new it was time to change. I taught him to watch his thoughts and the change was immediate and dramatic. Before very many sessions, he was experiencing Witness Consciousness. The knowledge - the "knowing" that comes with detachment from thought was evident and his life changed dramatically.

Ralph is a Lion and his wife is a Unicorn. According to him, she carries a lot of resentment, and as Unicorns so often do, she used disconnection and emotional distance to punish him. This made his anger problem even worse which is what drove him to seek help. As so often happens, Ralph left therapy and never attended any of the "awakening groups" which are designed to support thought watching and to keep reminding those who attend to stay conscious and vigilant and to hold onto the principles of witnessing.

A couple of weeks ago Ralph came in to seem me again. Things between him and his wife are worse than ever. Talk of divorce dominates their time together. The children are now involved. Of course, this will be the biggest crisis with which they will ever deal. Ralph sat and told me how he saw the thoughts that lead to engagement, but he identified anyway and continued to fight with his wife. This led to a deteriorating situation.

We really have an option of where we want to live in this life. We can either stay in the peace or enter into the drama of thought identification where the content of our lives is defined by the ongoing drama of the chain of thoughts that appears in our heads. Ralph, as with so many others, chose to go back into the madness.

What is the conclusion that invariably is drawn from Ralph's story? It takes months, even years for witness consciousness to dominate over thought identification. During that time the process must be nurtured and coddled. Otherwise it is back into the madness. The ego-mind is desperate to convince us that we've got it, that we know, that we have arrived. So we go back into the madness with an arrogance and an air of superiority. Then we die.

Freedom is ultimately found in determination and not in confidence. The only way to stay determined, to stay out of the madness of thought identification is to surround ourselves with reminders of awareness. This means books, friends, groups, tapes. We need a constant feeding from source to avoid temptation. The realized master Nisargadatta Maharaj said, "You must be extreme to reach the supreme."

Mark Waller Ph.D. LMFT

Right Action emerges from Truth. Reaction emerges from the Conditioned Mind.

Science has confirmed that perception is simultaneous with action. This means that if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. We will never be free unless we constantly question our perception.

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A special note!

The awakening group will meet on the 3rd Sunday in May, the 21st, since the second Sunday is Mother's Day.

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